Filthy Water
by Isabel164
Summary: One-shot S3E15,16,17 'Drowning episode' What if Meredith wasn't the only one hurt? What if Derek was the one who came out of this more harmed?


**Filthy Water**

_Author's Note: _

_So, this is my second story after 'The One Decision You Will Always Regret' and I'm anxious to see what you guys think of it, I have to tell you all that this will be a one-shot, but I can promise you guys a lot of angst, suspense, but some romance too! ;) _

_Oh, and just so you know. I changed the actual beginning of the episode so there are some things that didn't happen in the actual episode but I try to make it as real as possible and stick to the things that happened in the episode as much as possible. _

_If there are any grammar faults or different word choice, sorry for that, English is not my first language ;) _

_For now I can only say, enjoy this one-shot and I hope you can all leave me a REVIEW afterwards!_

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel _

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

It was a strange day… a day no one would ever forget…

From the minute they got out of the ambulance, the only sounds they could hear were the ones of complete terror. They could only stand there, frozen, until…

''Hey docs! I need some assistance here!''

''You, go'' Bailey said to Meredith and assigned her other interns to do the same thing. Helping the injured as much as they could. But the point was, where to start? Wounded people lay everywhere, blooded faces, trapped limbs, there was no way to know where to start first.

As she kneeled down next to the EMT and eyed the patient laying in front of her, she willed her mind to calm down and think, think about the multiple lessons she had had from Bailey as to what to do when an emergency from this caliber occurred. She was trained and knew how to handle this, but the one thing that was always the hardest to control was the mind, don't lose your head at any time, it can bring you down hard. The words of her mother echoed in her head when she opened the duffel bag and quickly put out all the things she would need.

''His leg's been trapped or something.. I.. I don't know.. I just.. I just got here and-''

''It's okay, relax'' She said and put dressings on the man's wounded leg while trying to calm down the seemingly upset EMT. She didn't know why she was so calm all of a sudden but she knew she could only be grateful for that. This was the one situation where you could not afford losing your mind at any time.

''What's your name sir?'' She asked as calmly as possible. Staying calm yourself is essential for the patient and yourself. If you are calm, the patient will mostly likely stay calm and he would have a better chance of survival.

''Brent… Brent Wood'' He said between shaky breaths.

''Okay Brent, you have a deep laceration on your shin but I can't know for sure if the bone underneath is broken so I'm gonna put a splint on your leg and get you in an ambulance as soon as possible okay?''

''O..okay'' He replied and closed his eyes again.

''Mr. Shawn'' Meredith read on his coat. ''Can you please check if there's an ambulance available yet? Something is blocking the blood flow of Mr. Wood's leg and I think it's a bone shard but I don't know for sure and I don't have the right equipment with me so he needs to go the hospital now!''

As the EMT quickly got up and run to search for an available ambulance, a little girl walked up to her and patted her lightly on her shoulder.

She quickly turned around and saw a blond girl, about 7 years old standing in front of her now but not looking directly into her eyes, seemingly in shock.

''Hey'' She said softly to the little girl while not losing her patient out of her eye. ''Are you lost?''

She didn't answer.

''Okay, just wait here. We're gonna find your parents. I just need to get this man to the hospital. Is that okay for you?''

Still, she didn't answer. She only stared at Meredith. Completely in shock by what happened.

Meredith grabbed a nasal cannula out of the bag and gave Mr. Wood some oxygen support while splinting his leg and doing her best to make he could still have his leg after this was all over.

When she looked over her shoulder she could see the little girl watching what she was doing and knew she shouldn't see that.

''Sweetie'' She said when she turned to face her again. ''Can you turn around for me for a few minutes?

She didn't move.

''Sweetie, I really need you to turn around for a few minutes okay? I promise I will go find your parents and make sure they're okay''

After a few seconds of no movement she slowly turned around and Meredith sighed in relief.

''Okay'' She said to herself and began to work on the leg.

''Ambulance will be here in 5 minutes!'' The EMT shouted and kneeled down by the patient's head.

''I'm almost done'' She said.

''Who's that?'' The EMT asked, pointing at the little girl behind her.

''She's lost. I'm gonna try and find her parents. I just need a minute to splint the leg and make sure it's okay''

Sirens wailed from close by and they both turned around to see that the ambulance had arrived.

Meredith quickly prepared the patient for transport when a loud scream for help was heard.

''Help! I need some help over here!'' An elderly woman shouted.

''Shit'' She suddenly said. ''The toes are getting blue. I… I need to repair the vein now!''

''But..but you said you didn't have the right instruments''

The EMT was starting to panic again and she couldn't deal with that too.

''Mr. Shawn I got this okay? Can you please go and help the old lady over there''

''Are you sure you're-''

''Yes. I'm sure'' She said, raising her voice.

''Okay'' The EMT said and quickly grabbed his gear to help the elderly woman.

''Sweetie'' She said again. ''I'm sorry but you need to stay there for a few more minutes for me okay?

When she didn't budge she quickly pulled out all the equipment she would need for an emergency surgery on site and mentally prepared the patient for what was coming.

''Sir, I'm sorry but it's far more complicated than I imagined. I need to open your leg and repair the blood flow but I need you to stay as still as possible. Can you do that for me sir?''

He nodded shakily and Meredith inserted some sedatives into his I.V. that would keep him as calm as possible. She silently cursed at herself for not bringing more sedatives but knew saving his leg was what counted right now.

''Okay'' She sighed and grabbed the instruments needed and got to work to repair the blood flow to his leg.

When she was trying to repair the man's blood flow she saw the bone shard and knew she could repair the vein if she could only get the shard out. She tried to reach out for the shard but couldn't get it out without losing her grip on the vein.

''Sweetie'' She said. She knew it was bad. Knew it was bad to ask her this but if she didn't, the man would lose his leg so she asked with all her strength. ''Can you turn around for me and help me with something?''

The little girl turned around and stared at her with the same big eyes as before, letting Meredith regret her favor instantly.

''Can you hold this for me please?'' She asked and let her see the scalpel that was sticking into the man's left leg.

''I know it's scary but if you can just hold this for me for a second we can find you parents okay?''

The little girl nodded slightly and kneeled down next to Meredith sticking her hand out to the scalpel.

''Good'' Meredith said encouraging. ''Try not to move it okay?''

She breathed in and out and on the count of three, pulled the bone shard out of the man's leg. Blood sprayed out of the vein immediately and wet her scrubs. She tried to put her finger on the vein but couldn't detect the bleed anymore and she suddenly heard a loud scream and the man bolted upright, his arms and uninjured leg swaying uncontrollably.

''Sir, sir! Stay still for me please!'' Meredith tried in vain to calm him down but he was still moving his arms and uninjured leg uncontrollably.

''Sir please!'' She shouted again, hoping to get the man to calm down.

But that was the last sentence she uttered as the man's right leg hit her shin with such a force that she stumbled backwards and fell over the sidewalk of the shore, into the ice cold water….

''Miranda! have you seen Meredith?'' Derek shouted over the loud noises and screams that still filled the thin air. He had a bad feeling. A feeling he has had before and didn't end well…

''No, haven't seen her for an hour. She's probably already back at the hospital''

No, the feeling was still there and he hated it. He had seen her placing a splint on a patient's leg and a little girl standing behind her but she said she would be done soon, finding him after she was done, but she was nowhere to be seen and it made him worried. The nagging feeling in his gut only made it worse and thinking back to this morning only add up to the worries. The almost drowning in the bathtub got him thinking about her past, about her mother who was never there for her and the Dark&Twisty days with Cristina weren't ones of joy for him. But he loved her, she was the world for him and he sure knew that he couldn't live without her.

He slapped his cheek lightly, bringing himself back to earth and not think about the worst. By all means, she could already be in the hospital just like Miranda said. He shouldn't worry too much. Worrying only made matters worse he thought.

He then decided to help out as much as he could before catching a ride back to the hospital and look for Meredith there. But when he was about to see if they could use his help an EMT came running towards the ambulance shouting orders and holding his hand on the open wound of a man's leg. The jacket of Meredith on top of the man's body.

He had to look twice but when he got a clear sight of the jacket and saw that it was Meredith's he instantly grabbed the EMT's arm making his head turn towards Derek's face.

''Was Meredith with you?'' He immediately asked with a slightly raised voice. Panic settling into the pit of his stomach.

''Yeah she was. She was repairing the man's blood flow to his leg when she send me to and elderly woman who needed my help, but when I got back she was gone and the man was still there with her jacket on top of him. The little girl she was with was gone too'' He said. ''But I really need to go now sir, this man needs a hospital now'' Mr. Shawn said impatiently and quickly got into the back of the rig and closed the doors. The ambulance driving away at full speed.

He stared at the ambulance who got smaller and smaller every second, the sirens wailing, expressing the seriousness of the situation. He still needed to sort out what had just happened. He knew she could just be at the hospital chatting away with Cristina and laughing at him when he tells her he was worried about her again but the feeling was still there and it told him something was wrong, very wrong.

There was a little girl with her, the EMT said she was gone too maybe if I can find her I can find Meredith he thought and quickly went in search for the little girl. After a couple of minutes searching he found her standing in the middle of a busy crowd who all did their very best to help the people who were injured. He slowly walked up to the little girl and kneeled down in front of her.

''Hey'' He started. ''I saw you earlier this morning. You were with a doctor right?'' He asked, but she didn't answer his question, only stared straight ahead.

The little girl was seemingly in shock and he didn't quite know how to get her to talk to him. But she was the one that could lead him to Meredith and he was getting more impatient by the second.

''What's your name?'' He asked her, but she still didn't budge.

''Sweetie, I know you're scared but I need to know where the doctor is you were with. Can you tell me that?''

He looked at her with pleading eyes and after a few seconds of silence she turned her head around and pointed with her finger at the water. Derek's heart rate immediately sped up and he looked at the water in horror. Memories of this morning flooding through his brain making his eyes water.

He looked back at the little girl and looked her in the eye. ''Sweetie, can you stay here for me for a sec? And don't move okay?''

He didn't wait for her to reply but instead run off towards the crib of the shore and dove into the ice cold water. The minute his body hit the water, his heart leapt a beat and the coldness seeped through his veins making it harder for him to swim let alone dive to search for Meredith. He fought against the waves that seemed to get stronger every second, water finding his lungs making him cough in panic. His strength seeping out of his body every second and he still hadn't found Meredith. He dove once, twice, but still couldn't find her. Panic took over his body, the waves crushing his body like a wildfire and water slowly filled his lungs. He knew that if he couldn't find her soon he would need to get out of the water or he would die but the thought of leaving Meredith here was unbearable. He couldn't live without her and he wouldn't. With his last strength he took one last dive and saw something light blue in the water. He took one deep breath and dove again to swim towards the blue dot. It had to be Meredith, he couldn't bear it if it wasn't her. The blue dot got bigger and bigger and finally he saw scrubs, the scrubs that belonged to her. But he had to swim harder and harder as her limp body went deeper and deeper into the water. With all his strength he grabbed her body and brought her to shore. When he got her on shore a coughing fit took over him and he fought for air but he couldn't… couldn't stop now. Every second counted and he had too.. had to take her to the hospital. He kneeled down in front of her body and tried to take a deep breath but noticed he couldn't. A few short and shaky breaths was the only thing his lungs could produce and he inwardly kicked himself for not being able to get Meredith out of the water sooner.

He scooped her into his arms and tried not to look at her face. She was so blue and he couldn't deal with what was to come if he didn't got her heart to start beating again.

He looked around him in panic for an ambulance and was relieved when he found one. He got her on a stretcher and yelled for the driver to take them to the hospital. He still didn't look at her face but instead grabbed all the things necessary to get her temperature up and get her heart to start beating again.

''Mer..'' He croaked. ''Please.. please don't… do this to me… Mer'' He cried. ''I… I can't.. live without.. you''

He started pumping her chest but got lightheaded after a few seconds as a result of a lack of air. He knew something was wrong but he couldn't think about that. His priority was to get her to the hospital but it seemed to take hours and he got more lightheaded by the minute.

''Please… Mer… please… don't.. do this to me… to us'' He cried.

There was no progress in her situation and thoughts about this being all in vain made his heart cry and the adrenaline pumped through his veins making him pump her chest harder and harder.

Seconds seemed like minutes and minutes seemed like hours and she still had no heartbeat.

''Mer…Mer… please'' He croaked.

Suddenly the ambulance stopped and the back door flew open, revealing Miranda Bailey. She looked in shock at the person lying on the gurney and knew it was Meredith.

''She's… she's.. a..live'' Derek croaked and gasped for air he couldn't seem to get.

''Derek, how long is she been down?''

''I.. I don't know… she's… alive.. she's''

''Derek you alright?'' Bailey questioned as she noticed Derek's struggle for air.

''I'm… fine'' He said breathlessly. ''Mer….'' He cried and coughed which made him cry in pain.

''Derek!'' She said as she motioned for the paramedic to wheel Meredith into the trauma ward and paged Richard and Burke stat.

''No..'' He helplessly cried as the paramedic wheeled Meredith into the trauma ward. He couldn't do anything but sit there and pant. His breathing had gotten worse and he knew something was wrong but couldn't think about anything but Mer's pale and blue body, limp in his arms…

He still sat there in the ambulance his head leaning against the headboard of the seat, his mouth hung open and eyes closed as his energy drained completely from his body and his breathing sped up.

''Derek!'' She said, her voice raising, and she climbed into the back of the ambulance. ''Derek!'' She said again but couldn't get him to open his eyes. She inwardly cursed at herself for sending him to the crash site since he had barely recovered from his pneumonia a few days ago. Stupid brain surgeon she thought as she felt for a pulse. It was fast, too fast. She immediately yelled for help and they quickly came running out with a stretcher.

''Derek!'' She tried again and slapped his cheek lightly.

No reaction.

With the help of some intern she placed Derek on the stretcher and quickly wheeled him inside towards trauma room 2. Burke and Richard were working on Meredith in trauma room 1 and she could barely hold her tears inside when she saw that they were still trying to resuscitate Meredith. A tube running down her throat and several thermal blankets trying to get her temperate up. She prayed inwardly as she had not time to lose. Derek was deteriorating and she couldn't bear to lose two of her colleagues and good friends today.

''Page Sloan'' Bailey said to the intern standing behind her.

''But…'' The intern stuttered. ''Don't.. don't you need a cardiologist''

Bailey looked up at the intern with a glare that made the intern step a few feet backwards but knew she was right. How could I not have fought about that she thought and blamed herself for her mistake.

''Of course'' Bailey replied, staring at Derek's face instead of the intern's face. ''Can you page Doctor Donnelley for me?'' She asked.

''Right away Doctor Bailey'' The intern said.

Miranda quickly grabbed all the things she needed and put in a central line and connected the monitor to the leads on his chest. The intern stripped his clothes and made sure he didn't have other injuries before drawing some blood and sending in to the lab.

Miranda looked at the heartbeat displayed on the monitor and noticed his heartbeat was not beating regularly. The oxygen mask on his face fogged in time but his sats were still not the way they wanted it.

''Where's Doctor Donnelley?'' Bailey screamed as panic enveloped her body. Derek was deteriorating fast and she hoped she didn't have to put him on a vent since she wouldn't know if he could come off of it.

''He will be here soon Doctor Bailey'' The intern said, trying to calm her mentor down a bit.

''Stupid boy'' She said to Derek. ''Why did you have to dive into that ice cold water when your lung wasn't fully recovered yet. I never should have send you to that crash site!'' The blame again..

A tear escaped her eye but she wiped it away quickly not wanting anyone to see her like this.

Suddenly the door flew open and both the cardiologist and Mark stepped into the room. Mark's face displaying all sorts of emotion and he directly looked at Derek's lifeless body on the table. He was pale and all the medical equipment made him look so weak. He had never seen Derek so weak before and tears pooled in his eyes. He wanted to take a step forward towards the gurney but was met with resistance. Not physically but mentally. Some force holding him back. He couldn't.. he just couldn't move, couldn't look. His brother was there, on the bed, wires and monitors covering his body making it look like some sick freak show. All the while the doctors in the room moved and shouted uncontrollably.

''History and name please'' Doctor Donnelley asked all the while assessing him thoroughly.

''Derek Shepherd, 34 years old, was recovered from pneumonia a week ago but dove into ice cold water to save a colleague, his girlfriend. Had trouble breathing after that and I suspect that his recent pneumonia is playing a big role in his condition now''

She only nodded and listened to his lungs again and Bailey knew from the look of her face that it wasn't good.

''Respirations are shallow'' Doctor Donnelley shouted. ''We need to intubate and drain the fluid from his lungs now! And call up for a vent we've got no time to lose''

''Wait!'' Bailey shouted immediately. ''Wait before doing the intubation, let's see if he can breathe on his own when we've drained the fluid okay? Let's give him that chance. His girlfriend is dying out there!'' And she pointed to trauma room 1 where they were still busy saving Meredith ''I don't want to risk him not being able to come off of it as he still has a chance of breathing on his own again!''

Everyone in the room got silent and doctor Donnelley thought about what Bailey had just said.

''Okay, let's see what he's got in store for us but we need to drain the fluid now!'' She shouted and the people in the room began to bring out all the equipment they needed for the drainage all the while Mark was still standing there, not moving.

''Mark'' Bailey said as she walked up to him. ''It's gonna be okay. He will make it, he's strong. He's very stubborn but strong and I'm confident he will pull through. No one can stop him you know that''

He stared directly into Bailey's eyes and saw the hurt there too but knew she was right. Derek was a fighter and would do anything to stay with Meredith.

''I know he is'' Mark said upset. ''But.. but Meredith is… she's-''

But he couldn't finish his sentence as the door flew open and Richard burst into the room.

''She has a heart beat!'' He smiled which made everyone in the room smile too but their smiles faded away as quickly as it came as the one question came up.

''Do you know if she has any brain damage?'' Bailey asked. ''I mean, she's been down for so long and…''

''We don't know yet but she's got a strong heartbeat now and she will be able to breathe on her own soon. She's so strong'' Richard said with so much emotion behind his words that made Miranda dropped a second tear.

''How's Derek?'' Richard asked immediately as he saw doctor Donnelley and an intern draining fluid from Derek's lungs.

''Critical'' Bailey replied. ''He's got fluid in his lungs which made it difficult for him to breathe and it seemed like he wasn't completely recovered from his pneumonia yet so that has a big deal in his condition too but we just don't know yet. We're draining the fluid from his lungs now and hoping that he can breathe on his own then so that we don't have to intubate but we can't know for sure if he will have the strength to fight this on his own''

''He's strong, He will pull through'' Richard said seemingly upset. ''Keep me informed on his condition''

''We'II do sir'' Bailey said, and with that he left the room.

''Almost done'' Donnelley said. ''How are his sats?''

''Still at 86%'' Bailey said.

''If that doesn't come up we will need to intubate I'm afraid..'' She said and called up to respiratory for a vent and pulled the drainage needle out.

''Okay, I'm done'' And they all watched the monitors hoping for some improvement.

''Come on Derek, come on!'' Bailey whispered while looking back and forth between the monitors and his face.

''Come on man, do this for Mer!'' Mark shouted and finally stepped forwards towards where his brother lay, on the bed, and grabbed his hand, holding it tight in his. A tear leaking from his eyes.

''No… '' doctor Donnelley shook her head while trying to buy him some time. ''I don't-''

''Derek..'' Mark questioned as he saw his eyes flutter. He didn't know if he had seen it right as it stopped immediately.

Doctor Donnelley was already preparing for intubation when a few seconds later Mark saw the fluttering of his eyelids again ''Hey! He's awake, he's awake!'' He yelled and they all turned towards his face seeing the flutter of Derek's eyelids too.

''Dr. Shepherd?'' Dr. Donnelley questioned while looking at all the monitors again to see if there was a change.

''Sats are still at 86%'' Bailey said saddened and had a nagging feeling that they weren't there yet.

''Derek?'' Mark spoke and squeezed his hand tightly to see if he gave any reaction to it.

When he didn't, Mark squeezed harder, hoping that with every new squeeze his brother would react to it.

''Come on Derek, come on!'' Mark practically yelled. ''I need you…. Mer needs you'' He sobbed and wiped a few tears away.

''Come on man, I'm crying like a baby for you to open your eyes, help me out here a bit''

''I'm gonna need to intubate'' Donnelley said and moved away from the bed to prepare for intubation.

Bailey turned her head towards the cardiologist and nodded in agreement, much against her will but they had no choice. He wasn't improving and if they didn't do something soon it could end badly and that was a terrifying thought.

''Mark…'' Bailey spoke softly, preparing Mark for what was to come with his brother, his best friend…

He looked up at Bailey's words and they closed the space between them. She lay a hand on her shoulder and uttered the words that needed to be said.

''But.. but what if he can't come off of it. I mean, with his recent pneumonia and…'' He couldn't finish his sentence as sobs took over him, wetting his scrubs and Bailey's too as they embraced each other.

Suddenly a gurgling sound was heard and the three doctors in the room turned their head towards the sound.

There it was, the blue eyes, the eyes Meredith fell in love with, the eyes that said more than words.

''M…er..'' Was the barely hearable sound coming out of his mouth. His extreme lack of oxygen keeping him from saying more. His chest rising and falling way too fast for their and his liking. He panted and closed his eyes.

''Doctor Shepherd'' Dr. Donnelley stepped in before Bailey could even tell him that Meredith was stable and would possibly recover completely depending on results of the brain scan. '' I'm sorry to tell you this but as you know your oxygen levels aren't improving, even with the oxygen mask, so we have no other option than to intubate. I'm sorry''

He opened his eyes again and tears pooled in his eyes. He knew what that meant, he knew that there was a possibility that he couldn't come off of it but he couldn't think about that, couldn't think about the possibility of leaving Meredith alone.

Meredith….suddenly memories of the accident flooded back to his brain and he remembered what had happened to Meredith. He could feel the ice cold water seeping through his bones again and the blue limp body of his Meredith under water, motionless. He started to look around the room in panic and his breathing sped up, leaving him with almost no air to breath in at all.

The monitors in the room whined in distress and his heart rate sped up too. Making the situation all the more difficult. ''Shit!'' Bailey yelled. ''He's having flashbacks''

''We need to intubate now and get the paddles ready, we might need to shock his heart if it doesn't calm down itself'' Dr. Donnelley said and prepared for the intubation while the intern went to grab the crash car.

''Derek!'' Bailey yelled and put his cheeks between her hands in an attempt to get him back. ''Meredith is stable, Meredith is stable Derek. You saved her you hear me, you saved her!''

Bailey looked at the monitors in panic and cursed when there was no significant improvement. ''Derek! Snap out of it!''

''We have no time for this!'' Doctor Donnelley said and motioned for the intern to get ready with the paddles in case they needed them.

She then handed Bailey the syringe that would put Derek out and lowered the bed rest.

''Stand back please'' She said and securely placed the tube in his mouth. ''I'm in'' She said and connected the tube to the ventilator.

''Sats are up to 94 but his heart is still beating too fast'' Bailey said.

''Okay'' Doctor Donnelley said and motioned for the intern to come forward with the paddles.

''Charge to 60!''

The shock sent Derek's body flying upwards and Mark couldn't watch them shock his brother. Couldn't see how Derek's limp body was sent flying upwards.

''Still no change! charge to 80!''

Again, Derek's body was sent flying upwards but to everyone's relief this time his heart rate went back to normal again and everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief.

''Okay'' Doctor Donnelley said seemingly relieved that he was stable now. ''Call for a bed in the CICU''

And with those relieved words uttered Bailey called Richard to see if there was any news on Meredith.

''Richard, how's Meredith? Is there any brain damage?'' She asked immediately, concerned for her intern.

''No, no brain damage'' He said and she could sense a smile on the other end of the line. We've moved her to a room on the second floor. Room 430'' He said.

''How's Derek?'' He asked cautiously, knowing that Derek's condition was one of worries.

''He's stable but critical'' She said. ''It was touch and go for a while though. He was having a flashback and we had to intubate and shock his heart twice before it came back to normal again. We've called for a bed in the CICU. Now we can only wait and hope for the best''

''He's strong, once he knows Meredith is alive and well he will fight like hell to stay alive too. Those two are made for each other Miranda''

''I know..'' She said, but she couldn't hide the sadness that fell over her when she thought about what Meredith would go through if Derek died.

''I have to go check up on Meredith now'' He said and hung up after saying goodbye.

Richard took the stairs and walked through the hall towards Meredith's room when he heard noises coming from the room.

''Where is he Cristina? Is he okay? I want to see him now!''

''Doctor Webber!'' Cristina said cheerfully like nothing was going on. ''How you doing?''

''What did you say to her?'' He asked her with a stern voice, putting power behind his words.

''I… I said nothing sir'' Cristina stuttered. ''Uh.. but do you know how Derek is doing?'' She asked with her puppy eyes, making clear to Richard what she had said to Meredith.

He sighed at Cristina's words. Finding it irresponsible in the condition Meredith was in but knew that Cristina had helped Meredith countless times and knew that the one person she would need besides Derek was her so he let it go and turned his attention towards Meredith who was sat straight up in bed and staring at him with panic in her eyes. Not knowing if Derek was okay or not.

She had obviously been told by Cristina about Derek since she couldn't remember what had happened but she didn't know how he was doing and if he was still alive and that scared her to death.

''Meredith'' Richard began and she immediately sensed the worse. She turned deadly pale in no-time and Richard immediately reacted. ''He's alive Mer, he's alive. He's stable but critical and he's been taking up to the CICU since he was put on a vent as a result of the severe fluid buildup in his lungs and his irregular heart rhythm. I wasn't there myself but I've been informed by Bailey that they have drained the fluid but that even though the fluid was drained, he was still having trouble breathing and they had no other choice than to put him on the vent. We hope that he stabilizes over the next few hours and that we can get him off the ventilator before the evening sets in''

Meredith had to take a few seconds to process all the things Richard had said and when she had processed it all she looked over at Cristina and began to sob.

Cristina immediately walked over towards her person and gave her a hug despite her principles.

''He's strong Mer, he really is and you know that'' Cristina said. ''He's the most arrogant, cocky but strongest person I've ever met Mer and he won't let some fluid bring him down''

Cristina's confident words made Meredith smile despite that it was the worst day she had had in her whole life but knew that a severe fluid buildup was not nothing. That everything could happen, that he could die without saying goodbye to her.

The tears pooled in her eyes again and much to her and Richard's surprise, Cristina wiped them away, making Meredith smile at her person again.

''I'm… I'm proud of you'' Meredith joked and smiled sadly.

Cristina laughed and went to stand up again.

''Can we see him?'' Cristina asked Richard.

Richard looked at Cristina and then at Meredith and knew that it was best to say yes to that answer since he knew that they were going to see him anyways. If he would say yes now he could at least make sure they got there safely and that Derek would get the rest he needed.

''Okay, but I'm coming with you'' He said and saw that Meredith was already preparing to leave the bed. ''Wheelchair'' He said immediately and Meredith rolled her eyes at his words.

''You're not going anywhere unless you sit in that wheelchair'' He said stern and helped Meredith into the chair and pushed it out of the room towards the room where Derek lay…

When they got to his room on the CICU floor they immediately noticed the silence. A silence that stretched over the floor like you see in horror movies. And well, this was kind of like a horror movie so the silence fitted perfectly.

Cristina pushed open the door to his room but didn't walk in immediately. She stood there, her eyes fixated on all the tubes and wires connected to his body. After a few seconds that seemed to last a minute she walked into the room and made way for Richard and Meredith who all stared at Derek's weakened body.

Meredith tried to hold back her tears as she wheeled herself towards Derek's bed. Grabbing his hand and holding it tight in hers.

''Derek'' She whispered while stroking his hair in a soothing way.

That awful tube still ran down his throat but she was relieved to see that he was stable and would recover completely in a few weeks.

''If.. If I had just been more careful you wouldn't be lying here and we would sleep in our own bed tonight'' She sobbed and leaned over to kiss his forehead softly.

''I love you so much Derek Shepherd''

Richard and Cristina watched as Meredith sobbed. They all couldn't do much but wait although they knew those two were made for each other and could pull each other out of a coma if necessary.

''You just get better Der and we will have many nights at the trailer'' She smiled and remembered the times when Derek and her were spending their night at the trailer but got called in for a massive trauma before the night set in.

''I have some sick leave left and we can make it memorable Der'' She said, a tear escaping her eyes again.

''We will go fishing and hiking, breath in some fresh air and make it the most memorable nights of our lives'' She smiled again.

''Meredith'' Richard called and walked towards her. ''We have to go now, I'm sorry. CICU rules''

She looked up at her mentor, the man who acted as a father to her and she just couldn't say no to him. She gave Derek one last kiss on the forehead and whispered ''I love you Der'' before Richard grabbed the handles and guided her towards the door.

But when they were about to leave the room, they heard a noise coming from inside the room.

They all turned their heads and saw to their surprise a flutter of Derek's eyelids.

''Derek!'' Meredith yelled and stood up and practically run towards his bed. ''Derek? She tried again and searched for his hand again. She squeezed it tightly and muttered some words to him that weren't audible for Richard nor Cristina. ''Are you ready to wake up?''

Cristina came to stand next to Meredith while Richard paged and Dr. Donnelley.

''Derek'' She said again and encouraged him to open his eyes for him.

And finally, after a few seconds the fluttering gave way to the beautiful blue depth of his eyes. The eyes that said more than words. The eyes she fell in love with from the first time they met.

''Hey..'' She smiled and stroked his hear again. ''Shhhh… no, don't touch it' She said as he was trying to fight the tube who was keeping him from breathing himself.

He made a gesture with his hands that said he wanted the thing out.

''They're paged Derek, Dr. Donnelley is paged. She will be here soon'' She soothed and stroked his hair one more time. A tear leaking from her eyes again, but this time it was a tear of pure happiness because her Derek was going to be okay.

''Is he awake?'' Was the first thing Donnelley said when she entered his room.

''He is'' Meredith smiled and made room for the doctor.

''Okay. Dr. Shepherd are you with us?'' She asked, following protocol.

He nodded and went to grab the tube with his hand to motion that he wanted it out.

''No, no, no, no'' Donnelley said and got a hold of his wrist. ''Not yet, we have to do some test first to see if your lungs can handle it before we extubate'' She said while she wrote things down in his chart.

Meredith looked at Derek and saw the frustration written on his face. ''Can you do the tests now. I mean the sooner the better right?

''Yes, we will do it now as he's fully awake now so we can be sure he will be able to breathe on his own when we extubate him'' She smiled and grabbed all the things needed for her tests. She then walked over to the ventilator and lowered the volume percentage from 80% to 40%.

She nodded at Meredith and when she saw he was doing fine after the lowered volume percentage and shut off the ventilator and disconnected the tube from the ventilator. She smiled at him and grabbed all the things needed for the extubation.

''Okay Dr. Shepherd. You know the drill. Deep breath in, and out when I give the sign okay?''

He nodded at the cardiologist and prepared himself for what was coming. He knew the effects of an intubation and saw it many times with his patients. Intubations were nasty for human throats.

''Okay, deep breath in'' She said and saw him taking as deep as a breath he could muster. ''And out…''

The gurgling, choking sounds coming from his throat brought tears to Meredith eyes but they were both tear of sadness and happiness this time. I've had them all she thought and wiped her tears away.

She saw Dr. Donnelley placing an oxygen mask on Derek's face and checking the monitors, tubes and wires but the one thing she saw the most was her Derek.

Alive.

Breathing.

She felt like the happiest girl on the planet at that moment and she slowly walked towards his bedside.

''Hi'' She said and tears prickled her eyes. ''I love you so much Derek Shepherd. My Hero, my knight in shining whatever'' She chuckled and removed the oxygen mask and kissed him. His lips were raw as a result of the tube but they were oh so kissable and she enjoyed every second of that kiss before pulling away and replacing the oxygen mask back on his face. They stared at each other like the first time they met and Derek's hand went to the mask again and he slowly removed it from his face to say the one thing he wanted to say for so long. The one thing he had been waiting to ask her.

''Meredith Grey, do you want to marry me?'' He said and grabbed her hand.

She stared at him like she had just seen a ghost and tears came to her eyes again. Tears of happiness again. She looked at Richard and Cristina and they both had a big smile on their faces. Obviously wanting her to say yes knowing they were made for each other.

She then looked back at Derek who was still staring at her with a big as a smile as the rest in the room and then, then she said the one word she wanted to say for her whole life.

''Yes!'' She smiled and everyone in the room clapped. And then, then she gave Derek the one kiss that said more than words…


End file.
